Just Breathe and Be
Alethea Jimison
Author, Poet & Truth-teller
I tried to concentrate
on all the self-appointed responsibilities
consuming me.
I sat at my computer
with a to-do list
bigger than my well-being.
Consumerism
is not a mark of capitalism.
Consumerism
is the obsessive need for recognition.
We take on the extra burden
to make other people happy.
We go above and beyond—
just to be seen.
Read a best-seller on productivity.
Watch a TED Talk on how to live successfully.
My brain is full
of educational material.
All roads lead to the command:
“Be the best you can be.”
But what if the best version of myself
is just… me?
What if I don’t want to do anything
but stare at the stars for hours every night
until I fall asleep?
What if I just want to lay on a blanket
and watch the ants walk by in formation
with utter fascination?
What if the clouds were more fascinating
than any regurgitated show on TV?
What if I just want to be me?
I’m so consumed by advertisements
flashing across my computer screen.
My cell-phone screen.
My email inbox.
I… can’t… breathe.
Facebook friends
are always trying to sell me something—
consumed by the consumerism
of the trend of entrepreneurism.
I can’t afford your whatever.
I already spent a lot of money
on twelve courses
on how to do this or that this year.
I’m taking all twelve courses simultaneously,
trying to improve on… something?
Damn these Ads.
Damn this promotional scarcity.
Always reminding me—
I need to pay to be somebody.
I have too much to do.
I… can’t… breathe.
Workaholism is a promoted ideology,
rewarded with approval and envy.
No one is promoting:
“Listen to your body.
Just breathe.”
Instead, we end up
with bodies riddled with disease.
Disease caused
by not listening
to our body’s needs.
I’m done.
I refuse to consent
to an illusion of success
that drives me into a mess.
I’m going to die one day,
and I refuse to pay the piper
with my time.
My energy is mine.
And I will not disperse it freely.
I’m a human being.
And sometimes,
my only job
is to just breathe—
and be.